It's been a while since I posted anything and I pray to God that doesn't mean I have gotten comfortable. I can tell you that I have been steadily trying to figure things out with my situation and my family. Living in a completely uncomfortable situation means I have to always be at my sharpest and have all my God-given smarts ready to guide me along. In less than 24 months I have started a new phase of my life which is very exciting yet uncomfortable. Comfort for many years got me nowhere I wanted to be. I now have acknowledged the path that has to be taken to be where I want to be and it is not an easy journey. All the signs were happening at once and were telling me to acknowledge the path and change are happening quickly.
The year 2010 my friend and workmate die in front of my eyes to a quick and steady disease. This same very year I separated from my first wife of 19 years without real knowledge of what happened. These were the first signs of discomfort. For the first time I had to get out on my own and look for a place to live but Thankfully I had a good friend who looked out for me and was there to hold me up. This world sometimes can be so selfish and greedy that we often forget to thank those who were there for us in a time of need. Since those early signs of discomfort, I screwed up so many times knowing that the consequences were a major hurdle yet challenging myself as a person to bear the burden almost to punish myself for taking a road of comfort and no bruises.
The year 2011 I watched my niece come into this greedy world with so much hope only to go out of this world in two years. It was a very sad moment for my bother and wife and also for the world. She was going to be a star I knew it! Tragically she died in a big flood in the Caribbean island of St Vincent after being ripped out of her auntie's arms by the strong movement of water racing from the hills. Her aunt died also, her body found stuck to a gutter rail where the debris stopped after being washed down from the mountain tops. My niece was found three days later in a still water area with a twig still stuck between her fingers, we imagined grasping for her very own life.
I quickly realized what road I needed to take and it wasn't the easy one. With all the challenges and signs popping up in front of my very own eyes I often went dark becoming numb and a stat within this system that was made to cripple me and persons like me who are very normal and ordinary. My very own children doubt my authority as their father which seems like a privilege once the poison was set. The signs are coming and they are closing in quickly. My very own mother gets sick in the year 2016 and was hospitalized for six weeks having to learn how to walk all over again, with the help of others she is comfortable again. The discomfort was too much for her so she had to get comfortable just like many of us who can't bear the discomfort. During those times I appreciated my mother even more.
The year 2017 February, my best friend's son who happens to be my God's son dies from a gunshot wound to the head. It's the news no one ever wants to hear. I heard it and viewed it on my television and computer with a numb stiff body and an expression on my face of WDF! Why are we not allowed to settle our differences without hurting each other? By design one may say... Life is very fragile and God knows we all must cherish life and lives among us with no knowledge of when it ends.
Sadly, two of my friends lose their daughter in what was ruled a suicide. May 17th.
I won't speak too much on it since it brings so much pain to even think about it. I do want to remember the happy and joyful moments we shared and her clever and wittiness even being so young. This young lady was also very talented as a soccer player and also an aspiring journalist speaking dual languages of English and French. With all these occurrences, I often take the time to look and listen to the beautiful life around me and the makeup of such wonderful creatures we are. All of us are special and we all have a purpose in which loved ones will share the stories after our lives are no longer with us. For the first time this spring I have noticed how beautiful the leaves and flowers are here in Toronto. What a beautiful art spring is and all these years I simply bypassed it all.
